Intro & Posting.

Have you ever struggled with sharing your art, thoughts or life online?

Intro.

Over the past year I’ve been threatening to share some insights that have made me colossally happier and healthier. Philosophies shaping my life, practices becoming my backbone and knowledge I have used to overcome long-standing mental health issues and on the balance, feel genuinely happy.

It’s not constant winning of course, I get stressed out, overwhelmed and sad still - but these days it’s short-lived and there is a significant macro uptrend in my personal happiness since I’ve been taking full responsibility for it, for about 3 years now.

My identity is a musician, sustainability consultant and entrepreneur - these are the things I spend the vast majority of my time doing. So despite my urges, writing / speaking about ‘life’ hasn’t come easily. I wrote about my recent sobriety a little on Facebook and that resonated with more people than I ever imagined. Both friends and randoms (aka new friends) in my inbox talking about making positive change. Which has been amazing. I love real conversations and new friends.

I’ve always been interested in the big questions in life, philosophy and what makes us happy. But stopping partying (and been hungover) the past couple years not only give me the time and focus to read 10x more, but also allowed me to practice the multitude of things that can make us happier, unhindered by the fuzzy head. Learning and experimenting has now become a passion.

When you learn useful new things, you naturally want to share them. I’ve thought about it for months now, ‘when will I grow the balls to start sharing the useful stuff I’m learning’ I say.

Well here we are, i’ve made an intention and I will share the favourite things I’ve learnt and as I go;

1) as a resource for myself, to articulate my thoughts and synthesise what I’m learning, and;

2) with the key intention to help someone else feel happier, more hopeful or to try something new.

Topics will be wide-ranging but posts specific, so dip in and out as you please. If any post resonates with you, be sure to follow the blog, comment, share etc - these little things go a long way and are completely free!

A fitting first online share I thought would be my new found perspective on sharing things online.

Posting.

So, posting ‘content’ online. I dislike the word content a bit. Let’s say stuff. It can be hard posting stuff. We’ve all had it; what am I actually posting this for? Should I change the caption? Why is no-one validating me? I’m going to post another time. bla bla bla.

The key reason many of us don’t share what we’d like to, or what may even be necessary for our creative or professional dreams, is that we are overly worried about what others may think. It can be crippling.

The fact I am slowly learning is, NO ONE REALLY CARES. People are so pre-occupied with their own life that they will look at your post - whether it be something creative, heartfelt, a selfie or a pic of your lunch - and do one of three things;

1) make it about themselves somehow and forget about you entirely (25%)

2) feel neutral and skip on by (60%), or

3) be entertained, moved, inspired or maybe feel more connected to you (15%)*.

*I like to estimate percentages of things and am pretty accurate (87%).

Unless you’re posting hate or something actively antisocial, whatever you post on online, pretty much NO ONE CARES - not anywhere near as much as you do. We actually get by far the worst criticism of our ‘content’ in our own heads, not in real life. Which is madness, isn’t it?

Today’s online world is fickle and fleeting and should be treated as such. It really really doesn’t matter how many people ‘like’ what you chose to post - because no one is keeping score, except you, of yourself. Everyone else is just keeping score of themselves.

In the fleeting moments people do engage with you online - some people will like your online persona (not the same as your real life persona, which matters many times more) and a handful of people won’t. Which is actually none of your business either way, as it is out of your control and totally up to others what their opinion is.

The truth is though: people who don’t ‘like you’ online, don’t like you because they are unconsciously projecting their own emotions or insecurities onto you... stay with me here.

If you post something heartfelt and personal for example, someone may wince and feel embarrassed. This could be because they feel they couldn't share that, which in turn triggers feelings of insecurity. This discomfort is misunderstood and translated to a small dose of dislike, directed towards you.

So in actual fact, if someone doesn’t like your post, they usually just don’t like something within themselves and don’t realise it. Otherwise it'd be a neutral reaction. Yup. And we all do it. I do it all the time.

Think about it this way, a 20,000 hour meditation-master wouldn’t be scrolling down social media getting all judgemental when things don't align with them. No way - because they deeply understand it’s nothing to do with them. Their reactions will be neutral, compassionate or entertained (tbf, a monk is unlikely to be scrolling TikTok on a glass rectangle of distraction).

It is important to note here - don't feel like you have to post online, ever. No one cares if you don't post just as little as when you do. Near zero. It’s all a game rigged to steal our attention and sell us stuff anyway, that is no secret.

So get back to doing something important, like connecting in person or with nature or go on an adventure. But again, if posting something creative, funny, nice or even mindless feels important to you, then JUST DO IT.

If that’s not convinced you that none of this stuff really matters, to take this a fat step further: when you are dead, which is likely within the next 40-70 years, anyone that ever saw you post online will not be alive either. Ain’t nobody caring then.

In 200 years, a fraction of us modern humans will be remembered and in 2000 years we will be just collectively remembered as some society that lived. Like ‘the Aztecs’. But probably more like ‘early technologists’ or ‘climate destroyers’. Ffs.

Eventually the earth and universe will die in a cataclysmic heat death and nothing that anyone has ever done will remain, at all. We will have all gone and returned to what it was like before we were born. Or not. Who knows. Either way, absolutely no one cares if you share your new song, drawing, clothes or lunch online.

Do not draw from this perspective that ‘nothing matters’, quite the opposite in fact - the chances of us being on earth right now are ridiculously minuscule, it’s an improbable miracle that we get this rare opportunity to live. So despite your deep urges, be sure you don't waste any of your allotted miracle-time worrying about what other people might think of you! I’m trying my very best not to.

Thanks for reading the whole thing you champ. If this post resonated with you, comment and sign-up to the blog for future pieces. Also consider following on me instagram & twitter, handle is @happyrosso